to treat each other as a friend? a reason to keep in touch, care for each other .. speacial bond? with no attachment? sounds heavenly . but is that such a r/ship possible? i dun want someone like that . it will help me b better person like that in d future . but i guess im too selfish to face d pain n live with it . why i cant just hate her, it would b easier . why dun i place her with all those ppl who i dun give a fcuk about . dat doesnt even come into my mind even once in a blue moon . i wish, i wish i can , but why is it so hard?
thinking back about it . actually d things ive done to ppl . i do deserve this , but then im not that tough as i thought . taking it all . its breaking me down . i think sitting in d rain right now would b a nice thing to do . to clear my head .