have u ever been caught up? trap in the middle? with no where to go, how weird it is . im a person who will always plan ahead, calculate the distance, anticipate the obstacles . and yet i manage to get myself so fcukin caught up in the middle of nowhere, trying to force it fwd but yet i know it takes time n at d same time i cant go backwards . human emotions is such a complex topic, one moment u can b fill with laughter n joy, d next u can b filled with sadness n misery or chaos n turmoil . just cause by a few words u hear thru ur ear . letting go of my pride is the hardest thing ill have to do at d moment, im still thinking abt it . with it here, its creating a chaotic hell to myself making problems after problems . sadly n ashame to say, how i wish i can run away from this now, then again, back to reality, i dun even have a secondary place i could stay . its a transition period for over 8mths now . at least i still have to give it another 6 more mths before everything can flow smoothly, i guess . i keep telling myself the old marvin is dead, but theres still memories that i cant erase of my previous life . actually i din really appreaciate the simplicity and d total freedom that i had once n i know im not fully appreaciatin wat i have rite now b4 me . pride, one of the things i love most n yet its killin me slowly inside …

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “”

  1. 😦

    I’m so sorry, you were so happy and now things have flipped.
    I hope it flips again and you find yourself happy as can be.  Smile and feel better dear!

    Like

  2. haha you are like a lost bird flying too high too suddenly and lose breath… calm down balance down the problems u have.. if there’s no problem at all then there will be no life.. problems creat life, experience make us more intelligent more mature.. and my advice do not take things for granted.. follow ur heart  

    Like

  3. sometimes, when u tot u r planning ahead and everything goes smoothly, u will sudd be caught in the middle and has no where to go.. that’s one of the obstacle in life that we will face daily..
    back then when after i did my engineering diploma.. i have nowhere to go.. i dun like working as a technician but that’s where my diploma can lead me to.. i wanna continue with my studies but it’s way too expensive.. everything is topsy turvy.. i have nowhere to go.. it’s just that i have somewhere in my mind and im not able to do it cos my situation is not helpin or allowin me to.. but then, one thing led to another, here i am in metropolitan college… doing my final semester in degree in accounting.. and i have everything plan ahead of me.. 🙂
    but then again.. im still well prepared for myself if i were to face another obstacle again.. you know.. the obstacle i have to face now is, people’s comment about me.. who used to be my best bud back then.. but now has betrayed and hurt me so deeply that sometimes i wonder what the hell have i done that make her hate me that much..
    and the worst thing is, xanga has been a regular place for me to ramble and complain.. besides sharing my happiness.. but due to the fact that i wish to avoid further argument.. i forbid myself frm writing bout it in my blog..cos she reads my blog..
    aikss.. i’ve flooded ur comment! lol… tot of comforting u.. but instead bcame my place to express my ‘misery’ lol..
    take care kayz buddy… be strong.. before u know it, u will be on the path towards what u wanna do and all.. ya? cheer up 🙂

    Like

  4. Goshh… You sounded so happy in your previous entry… Yes, human emotions can be complex indeed. It depends on how each individual handles it. Time will reveal lots of things. So be patient with life’s challenges. Take is as it comes.

    Like

  5. ey..wanted to write smth in ur chatter box but cant seem to open..well..i guess i will just write it here then huh?cant believe its all so hard for everybody this year..its like the end of the world or smth..well..bro its been awhile since i log on..n i read everything u wrote here..dont really have any advice for you because it is you who always given me stuff..just read ah soon’s blog too..we all r strugglin thru our hard times..i am going there soon..maybe i will need to struggle the stuff that you have been thru too..well..hope to c u soon..juz like ah soon said..if we r meant to be..fate will bring us together..c u soon ko..

    Like

  6. ey..wanted to write smth in ur chatter box but cant seem to open..well..i guess i will just write it here then huh?cant believe its all so hard for everybody this year..its like the end of the world or smth..well..bro its been awhile since i log on..n i read everything u wrote here..dont really have any advice for you because it is you who always given me stuff..just read ah soon’s blog too..we all r strugglin thru our hard times..i am going there soon..maybe i will need to struggle the stuff that you have been thru too..well..hope to c u soon..juz like ah soon said..if we r meant to be..fate will bring us together..c u soon ko..

    Like

  7. things change so fast, it’s hard for you to grasp it. it’s hard when things don’t go your way, and you get lost. i hope you’re able to crawl out of it =) changes are good in our lives, hardships strengthen us, everything happens for a reason. meditate. it works =) and don’t worry, i’m sure you’ll be able to get out of this. you’re strong – there’s still so much in life ahead of u. good luck! perhaps a hug to make u feel better? *hugz* hugs are good 😉

    Like

  8. ya…human’s moods & emotions are so hard to predict. so many things that can break us, and then at the same time, good things happen at the same time 🙂 It’s complicated…sometimes it’s true when they said it depended on how we see life…”a glass half full” or a “glass half empty” but it’s hard to look at life positively at certain times, but each one of us goew older to become emotionally stronger than before, right? Hope you’re doing fine there. I read your previous entries…yeah, it’s nice to have someone to hug and someone who makes you happy. Met someone already ar? hehe. All the best to you~!

    Like

  9. It’s all part of life though. We go through so many things and experience so many different experiences. As we age, we realise that we are less carefree, there are more burdens, responsibilities and issues that has never been complex before. But the lesson that you take away from that is that you will overcome it. Life is all about choices. *hugz* Chin up and count the good things in life and don’t waste your time on the bad things.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s