once in a while we all have to seep in to the silence, to the moment . i guess its just my uncountable mood swings again , havent had it in a long long while . d feeling of hiding my face from d world . hide inside my own box n hibernate n not think abt d things that worries me or dat makes me happy . all of it . i just wanna have a slight break where i can find peace within myself . for days n weeks i have been worrying abt my life the worst part is i didnt even do anything to make d worries go away, even abit for d whole 8mths . at d age of 22 it seems i have acheived nothing in life . cant find dat person anymore, dat person who i love n trust with all my heart doesnt exist in this world , n so neither is d marvin im lookin for . all dat is left is just a feelin of emptiness n lost in thoughts, having no one to talk to it abt . i tried hard to comfort myself by telling myself . sometimes things happen for a reason and somethings are meant to be . like d rain… tryin not to worry abt d rain too much . like for tml’s event, dj lean is having her birthday dinner with i dunno how many ppl, mayb 40? even on my funeral, i wouldnt have dat many ppl to send me to my grave . even i like d spotlight so much, but then again at d same time im paranoid dat every single human being would wanna take advantage of me n also will look down on me with d 1st glance . i love to b d center of attraction, yet i hate to b in d crowd . a sad case of pessismistic n narcissistic personality disorder , wats worst, im also an introvert . its very hard for me to say out or express wat i feel to another human being . it seems impossible at times, i find it hard to relate myself to another person, i find it hard to find the key called ‘trust’ .
listenin to d silence of it all