someone told me not to lost myself in the city today . suddenly in a very long time , i havent felt this alone . all caught up with d energy … suddenly all d ppl around me seems to fade away or some how temporary not visible . it seems like iv hurt myself n also d ppl around me dat i care so much abt . i am human after all . i am selfish . i am afraid to be alone . that i admit . im lookin for d once felt true love , but lookin back rite now . it seems i started on d wrong foot . and i kept goin d wrong direction all this while n i didnt once stop n consider abt it . how can i expect to find sum1 that will care for me , or that feeling i once had by doing d things i did this past week . i kinda fcuk it all up for myself . im being somebody that im wasnt all along, lookin in d mirror . i dun even know who i am now . its like a stranger staring back at me . i tot how nice it would b , being that stranger , but then again . his d loneliess person in this world . goin off track . way n way off d track till theres not even a dim light to get back where once i was at . im losing d marvin that i once knew bit by bit . it seems to myself n all d ppl around me , with my arrogance n ego that im cool with it all n im able to handle d loneliness all along , but one part of me knows that im breakin down n i sometime just need a hug n some sincerity . belonging to sum1 , getting nag or scold by sum1 , wheres my other side? wheres d person dat will make me feel complete . i dunno why im so weak , why cant i just feel like wat i said , being alone aint that bad , aint it . why am i afraid i cant find that special ever again in my life . am i givin up to loneliness so easily? … im turnin into somebody that i used to hate all along .


im really sorry to those who were concern . i deserve all this anyway . for d things i did . im sorry to who has come within contact with me and knowing my existence . for i am damned with bringing misery, pain & sadness for those who come within contact with me


lust // envy // greed // pride // gluttony // wrath // sloth

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7 thoughts on “”

  1. everyone knows loneliness kills…if they r ur true frens they will forgive u soon…but if they show no forgiveness..then its the end of everything…stay tough…as promised afta dinner….

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  2. be frank, i found part of his shadow in you when you tried to find some excuses for what you did. i know you would think it’s unfair to put you and that irresponsible guy in the same line, but, you spoke exactly as what i’d told. there is no wrong or right in everything, yet, you would always have a true answer for yourself in your heart. everyone makes mistake, you and me too. you are lucky to have the right to choose what you want; it doesn’t mean that you can overwhelming your power. oftenly, we are afraid of being alone cuz we dunno how to face our real me. in fact, it is not as hard as you think since alone != lonely. you are lonely cuz you are empty inside, so, you tried to find something else to fill it up. for now, i hope you had figured out that “something else” could only works for temporary. get yourself out of the mess, if you still love and respect yourself. i dun wanna see a cool guy like marvin bcome another kind of “cool” (cruel) guy. dun close your eyes when others are lost and blinded by their heart. i believe you can be the one, and the only one, who always stay cool in anytime and anywhere. 

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  3. sometimes the clear and true path that we are supposed to follow are overshadowed by our own emotions. it takes a while. but you will get through.
    came here by chance. love your background song. what’s the title?take care. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  4. Everyone has to first be “COMPLETE” , ( Knowing themselves well enough and can deal with most things independently ) to find the other side that make them “complete” . ( as in a partner in life that to share and care for ) If looking for someone to be “complete” you before you are “COMPLETE”,  is almost like, trying to find something to fill a black hole.. dealing with loneliness the wrong way only take care of thing temporarily and makes things worse later, and sometime in the process, hurt someone you wish not to.. It takes a lot of strength to admit one is weak, i really think so, but KNOWING isn’t enough, DOing the right thing takes even a stronger man. Hey, If i don’t think you have a good person inside you, i’d have save my breath.. Nobody is perfect, we live, we learn..  So…     May the force be with you.  wahahahahaha..

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