wat a nice way to end the year . the finale . d last lap . d final blow . its  been 48hrs since i last my wallet . really dumbfounded by it all . baffled too . u name it . my malaysian id, my californian id, my malaysian driving license dat was just extended to 2010 . and all my sweat n blood money, from picking up extra shifts n pickin up plates in d restaurant day by day . eating at d restaurant every single day to save up every single cent to pay for my skool fees . how stupid n careless could i be? i think dats d max i think . 700+usd . gone . just like that, it was an amount of one 2way air ticket back to malaysia, 2 leather jackets, could pay for my car insurance at least near 8mths, could by 14tix to the paul van dyke count down rave, almost 7 pair of bball shoes, could fix my car with that, mayb even add new rims .. speechless . really .i was thinkin abt it so much . i even dreamt i found it . mayb 2 times in a nite’s sleep . if my grandma knew abt this . shed b worried sick . i feel kinda sick inside . i suddenly lost d desire to eat, play ball, watch movies to even smile ..

i guess i need some time to b over it . but . for sure ill remember this for a long long time to come …

wish i could just walk by a river rite now . or a habour like d one in sydney n have an ice cream cone maybe a few sticks of malboro lights n sit there without thinking abt anything . really wanna b in the moment rite now …truly


4 thoughts on “”

  1. sigh….i wish i can speak either bad words to scold you for not listening to me like I’m not in or sweet words to comfort you. But, i can’t, for either way. I really dunno what to do except kept on looking everywhere i could think of; everytime when i walked along that road. I can’t say some kinda words that will lights up your hope and bring you back to the peace for temporary cuz i can’t bear with your dissapointed eyes filled with pains that break my heart badly.
    Sorry, baby. SOrry for being so helpless.


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