in loving memory ..


close your eyes and tell urself to be strong cz everything is moving fwd . tell urself u can do it n yet i have this feelings from time to time . d feeling of sourness in ur heart that sometimes is so sour it can create tears . lookin back at all those special moments i had since childhood . playing by d drain . runnin in the rain , winnin a basketball league with clutch shooting n played my heart out, falling in love . heart broken . meeting new ppl . drinkin every weekends, having fun with fwends . we all have our special moments, our special memories, and all those ppl n memories that passed us wont b by ourside for long . trying holding a handful of sand in ur palm . grip it with all ur might and yet, d sand stills slip thru ur fingers and u feel like crying so much inside . u are doing all u can .. all u can .. but u still cant hold on . and after some time when u have d chance to go back to dat place, where those special moments happened . but it will never b d same, things are diffrent , ppl change . time changes ppl n u cant put them back together again like wat they used to be . and its actually hurting u instead of living back d memories .but i guess this is life . i wonder how those old ppl around the age of 70+ manage to bury all their memories deep inside n not feel sad abt it . or at least they are not showing it …

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25 thoughts on “”

  1. aye aye…. everything changes with time.. ppl grow from naive kids to mature adults.. we cannot act like a kid forever, we are forced to worry bout how to live a good life in reality..hence the concern for money, career and all… i learnt my lesson the hard way..u cannot hold to to the “special moments”. No matter how hard u try to bring back or re-create those special moments… it can’t be done.. no matter how much u try to remind those who share those special moments with u about those wonderful moments.. most of them will not want to recreate those moments with u…..but one thing i’m sure…everyone keep these moments in their heart and they move on with live….and u shud too.. dun let all these memories pin u down at one place/time in life… no one can stay at the same place with u forever… u’ll be alone until u learn u let go and continue with the rest of life’s journey

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  2. wow…. so deep and meaningful >^^< sigh* …so sup??? how’s everything????? =)   
    so far do u like LA????
    ^____^
    take carez

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  3. I think there is one thing that you have to think about and accept and that is, sometimes people are in with with their memories, that are frozen in time. Things will always change and that’s why you learn to appreciate the people around you right now so that when you are 70 years old one day, you will look back and have no regrets of what you have done so far.

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  4. great blog i should say, been reading all ur entries since the 1st day u were here doing ur 1st blog and i can tell this is the best. I dunno what to say just stop calling me 2 in the morning and asking me to go drink when ur like half the earth away from me, really scare the shit outta me. lol anyways i do hope u could come back here in kuching so that i can give u those annoying lim teh phone calls huh.once again, great blog very meaningful

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  5. ahh man..so true, i feel this^^…especially when your moving from highschool to university, or one country to another..everythin change from how you once knew it..said it perfect (“,)-lee

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  6. Hey, I totally agree with you. Memories in the past are sometimes very bitter that we do not ever wanna relive it again. Moving on with life is not something to do either, since the past will keep coming back to you. The only thing that can keep you going is through strong determination and meeting new people who can change your life. Good luck, and remember that you’re not alone!
    ~ Maria ~
    Btw, check out new picnic pictures I had yesterday..!!
    Pictures: http://www.xanga.com/mars23

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  7. So easy for people to say move on. But how many can practice this in reality when it comes to the matter that live inside you? How many can actually move on freely without forgetting the past? NONE. Your past will always haunt you no matter where you go and no matter how hard you try to avoid the past, it still stays there. It’s like a stain in your heart. It becomes a stain because you are the one who wants to hold on to it. Our mind can be controlled but not our heart. Try to do something that to change your mind or paradigm towards things. Visit Eric’s website and inside there’s one article about Law of Seed. That would be inspiring and a first step for you.

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  8. how’s LA? I bet its nice out there,I went there once few years back and it was soo HOT! hehhee… oh btw, I’m not Msians, I’m indonesian =) I got your xanga add from maria’s xanga when I was browsing..
    steph

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  9. “try holding a handful of sand in ur palm . grip it with all ur might and yet, d sand stills slip thru ur fingers”
    Haiz…sad but true..it’s also true that when you go back to the place where all the sweet memories happened,yet it wont be the same.But lookin at it at that point of view is like lookin at a glass half empty..not half full..
    Keep the sweet memories.But look forward to make more of them.
    I guess the reason why those who have been living their life for more than half a century don’t feel sad is perhaps because they have all the puzzle pieces together,that one piece of memory leads to another,and that everything happened for a reason.

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  10. The greatest test on the earth is to bear defeat without losing heart… be strong!
    Heaven lies about us in our infancy!
    Shades of the prison house begin to close
    Upon the growing boy – WORDSWORTH

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  11. and I assume you’re Malaysian ^_^v right?
    OH is pretty cool,althou I’d love to live in LA.My parents sent me here,so I guess I’ll be here for at least 2 more years and after I graduate I can move anywhere my future job needs me to. Are you planning to stay after graduation? Hey!Do you have facebook?
    *stephanie*

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  12. Sometimes we hate to dwell in the past coz there are so many painful memories, but if you push them aside, you will see the nice and wonderful ones, and hold on to them. Coz they will help to keep you sane in this crazy world.

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  13. Wah…..i really love ur posting this time…Really damn good wan ler…..btw,u dont have to say thank you for the old pix cuz tat’s wat friends are for ma…Miss dancing with u la man…Next time make sure ur dancing wif me,k……Ja ney…… 

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  14. hey ballah! hope everythin works out for you in LA leh, n no matter whut you can alwys find ur place on d court rite? venice beach baller for life…someday i’ll come and play againts you!! ..break sum ankles 2day^^

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  15. heyy…
    I’m reading your entry for the 2nd time and it still feels so ‘touching’.When I red it, I actually could feel how you felt when you wrote the ‘masterpiece’ .lol. And its so true that time changes and people do too…I wish I could have a time machine and change everything that happened in my life that could have been done differently. But then once again I thought, I wouldn’t be here if I change everything.And I like the way I am here, now writing to you.
    I saw your pics.You love to take pics eh? 😉 nice pics!!
    stephanie

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