have u ever been caught up? trap in the middle? with no where to go, how weird it is . im a person who will always plan ahead, calculate the distance, anticipate the obstacles . and yet i manage to get myself so fcukin caught up in the middle of nowhere, trying to force it fwd but yet i know it takes time n at d same time i cant go backwards . human emotions is such a complex topic, one moment u can b fill with laughter n joy, d next u can b filled with sadness n misery or chaos n turmoil . just cause by a few words u hear thru ur ear . letting go of my pride is the hardest thing ill have to do at d moment, im still thinking abt it . with it here, its creating a chaotic hell to myself making problems after problems . sadly n ashame to say, how i wish i can run away from this now, then again, back to reality, i dun even have a secondary place i could stay . its a transition period for over 8mths now . at least i still have to give it another 6 more mths before everything can flow smoothly, i guess . i keep telling myself the old marvin is dead, but theres still memories that i cant erase of my previous life . actually i din really appreaciate the simplicity and d total freedom that i had once n i know im not fully appreaciatin wat i have rite now b4 me . pride, one of the things i love most n yet its killin me slowly inside …